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i relised yesterday that i m scared of having good days or having a… - greetings
November 30th, 2005
02:50 am

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i relised yesterday that i m scared of having good days or having a good thing happen because i worry that it will never happen again. And usually it doesn't. Sometimes it does and i hope that goods things happen to me. I m just retarted i guess. I would rather just have a bunch of mediocre days and if good stuff happens for it to be sooo good that it will keep happening. I need to just chill i guess. I mean i do like it when reandom good stuff just happens. I love good days, i dunno. Y AM I SO RETARTED?

so today was the first day of erging for novice for winter trainning. It wasn't bad, but i still was really anti. When i was rolling out my erg, i felt like i was carrying my death. and i was wondering why i should be carrying something that in the long run will prolly be a part of ruining my knees. MEH
getting in shape can be annoying. i mean i love it and i love exercising. just erging is annoying while your doing it. ew. oh well, circuts tommarrow, those are ok. but thursday is erging again. oh well, who cares?

my dad is moving his shop back to our house and hes been so stressed lately. Its really sad, hes prolly taken years off his life just this week. not that he doesn't anyways....
i m sorta happy that he's moving back here because for the last 5 years i havn't really seen him. if he's home he's sleeping. and if he talks to me its about how i m a failure as a musician. This way i will get to see him more, and maybe he'll be less stressed and depressed and be nicer in general. not that hes not nice sometimes. i just rarely see him.
my mom is helping him tongiht and they are at work till midnight. she brought him a pizza which i hope he eats because he might say he's too busy to eat. He hasn't eaten anything all day. and hes already a bone. i weight more then him.
its depressing.

i hope tommarrow is a good day. i really really hope so.

so i dunno what i m gonna do tonight, i guess im just going to do homework and watch tv and go to bed and read or something. I HAVE A COOL LIFE.
just thinking about what i prolly would have been doing or preparing for tongiht if it had been last year....
damn i miss freshman year...
i can't let what i want get in the way of waht i need to do tho
FUCK

so ummm on a happier note...
i don't have very much homework..
um i m pathetic.

i m going to myspace. not that i have any comments or anything...

loves

Current Mood: soresore
Current Music: best mistake ~jamisonparker

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